Alcohol Banned for Me 從此禁酒


Photograph: Studio247

My important and immediate announcement at the end of Chinese New Year is that ALCOHOL IS BANNED FOR ME. I have had some bad experiences for many years that after I downed some alcohol, no matter how little portion it is, headache and insomnia come to haunt my soul. And staying up until the dawn and severe headache/ migraine are the scenarios I have to bear alone after my drinking with friends.

I know some friends would ridicule:“Come on, you aren’t drinking enough that’s why you have headache and can’t sleep. Drink more bro! Aren’t writers known for drinking??”

Well, I beg to differ. I am no Li Bai—the prominent Chinese poet of Tang dynasty. When he was drunk, he wrote masterpieces which have stood the test of time line for more than one thousand years. That’s certainly not my style. Imitating that will lead me to forever-sleep-deprivation syndrome.

And the ban takes effect immediately.

春節結束,禁令上路—從此禁酒。每次喝了一點酒,即使份量再少,頭痛、失眠馬上折騰我到天亮。這問題困擾著我很多年了。眼金金到天亮、感覺腦殼欲裂的頭痛/偏頭痛就是我每次與友人把酒問月、對酒當歌之後必須獨自承受的後果。

我知道有些豬朋狗友又會趁機挑釁:「省了吧,你是喝太少所以就頭痛、睡不著,那就多喝兩杯啊!寫作人不都是出了名通通都是酒鬼嗎?」

天啊,饒了我吧!我不是唐朝大詩人李白,他喝醉了可以寫下流芳千古的經典。但我根本不吃這一套,如果硬要有樣學樣我恐怕就永遠沒覺好睡了。

謹此宣布,立即禁酒。

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