Feeling Empty by Guest Writer Jasmine Yi-Hua Bonn

他看戲 也一個人看
他放假 也一個人放
他叫我 有時間記得對妳好一些
— 陳奕迅〈他一個人

Photograph: Kiat (July 2006)

You wake up in the morning and the sun is shining into your room, making you smile and let you feel happy. It seems like life couldn’t be better and you step forward to conquer life and your aims. You want to have the life you dreamed of, you want to be successful to satisfy your own expectations. In the evening you come back home after reading dozens of books, after studied dozens of books, after finishing your work, after meeting a few people who bore you anyway.

But still, you come back home alone, no-one waiting for you, no-one hugging you, no-one kissing you, loving you. You are all on your own. It feels like there’s a big hole in your heart, letting you cry in the nighttime – leaving you dreaming in the daytime. You see all those happy couples on the streets and you ask yourself why it is you, who is alone.

You want somebody being at your side, loving you, caring about you, pampering you, but no matter how hard you wish, no-one will come. You feel hopeless, sad and hurt – you wish it would be different, but you know that there won’t be somebody falling from heaven.

Love is something you can’t buy, love is something you can’t gain with a smile. Love comes suddenly and unexpected, you can’t run away or hide –you have to face it. Love can be the cruelest thing that happens to you, but life without love, would that be better ??

Somehow we all dream of the perfect match, the perfect person, but there’s nothing left than pain and suffering. Being alone can be even worse than be in love with the wrong person. We all need to find our better half to get rid of our loneliness and sadness. Sometimes we are sitting in the dark and cry, try to cut out all the pain and suffering that is hidden in our hearts, but it is of no use.

Still, we are falling asleep alone, trying to understand the emptiness that is around us…Nevertheless there’s no way to escape from it, to fill the emptiness in our hearts, to wash away the disappointment that is getting bigger day per day…